SPEAKER_01 0:45

I don't remember how I got home. I don't remember the drive. It was by the grace of God that I got home. I was like, oh no, I cannot. I will not live like this.

SPEAKER_00 0:59

If you had to give advice to someone who is thinking about it, wanting it, they have a dream, they have a vision, they're just scared. I would tell them to do it. Do it scared. I am your host, Yolanda Holiday, and I thank you for joining me. If this is your first time here, welcome. Please come in. Please enjoy the conversation. We are here every Tuesday at 6 a.m., a new episode released. If you have been here before, thank you. I appreciate the support. Without you, there is no us, and I am greatly appreciative. Today's pairing is going to be the House of Round California Red Blend. It is a vibrant, fruit-forward wine with notes of sugar cherry, hibiscus tea, and strawberry. This approachable red features medium acidity and smooth tannins, making it highly versatile for pairings. It is stainless steel age for a crisp, fruit-driven finish. Each week we feature a black-owned wine brand because it is important that we support. It is important that we are supporting the black-owned brands. Every brand that we feature is found at your local wine retailer. So you can find this in stores near you. You can go out and support. If you have tried this wine before, please leave us a comment. Let us know your thoughts. And if you go out and purchase it, let us know. Let us know what you thought of it. Let us know where you purchased it shared so that we can continue to support these Black Online brands. Today's guest is Denise Horton, entrepreneur, wine enthusiast, wife, and mother of two. After a successful 19-year career in healthcare, she took a leap of faith to follow her passion and open Horton Cellars, which she shares her love and knowledge of wine with others. In this season of life, Denise is focused on setting healthy boundaries, prioritizing her well-being, and becoming the best version of herself, all while embracing the joy of family, travel, and intentional living. Denise, I welcome you to the podcast. Thank you for joining. Thank you for having me. I know we're going to have a great conversation. And there we're going to sprinkle a little bit about the trip you just returned from. I'm interested, and the listeners are interested as well. But before we kick it off, I want to ask you what season are you currently navigating?

SPEAKER_01 3:43

The season I'm currently navigating is being intentional. Just so that I can be the best version of me. I feel like so many times I've put others first with being a mother and an operating room nurse and just things like that. Like you work and you give your all, and you leave yourself with very little. So this season, I'm being intentional. I want to be the healthiest version physically, mentally, spiritually, and just be a better me overall. Because if I'm not a great me, I can't be there for others.

SPEAKER_00 4:25

That is that is so true. And I'm excited that so many black women are realizing that it is important for them to put themselves first, that it's not actually selfish, as many people call it or think it is, and you have to be intentional because the way we are designed is to take care of everyone else. So being intentional is a thing that we have to focus on and do. And for you, what was it that made you realize that this was needed in your life?

SPEAKER_01 4:55

Just because I'm older for one, being in your 40s, going through perimenopause and all things change, right? But just because I was tired of always giving. And if I want something, if I want to be taken care of, I have to take care of me first. Yes. And I always would tell people you can't pour from an empty cup, but I wasn't taking my own advice. And I was literally pouring from an empty cup. Even like early in business, I would get through these phases where my business was slow, and I just felt like, well, I made the wrong decision, and maybe I need to go back to the healthcare field. And I just had to truly pray and wait it out and just, you know, take care of me. Like I started back exercising, being more intentional with that. I always say I want to travel and do things, and you can. You just have to plan and do it. So I said this year when 2026 came, I wasn't making a resolution. I was being intentional. Powerful. So what changes have you noticed within yourself? I've set a lot of boundaries. Like no is a word. It doesn't need an explanation. If I don't want it, I don't want it. If I don't want to do it, if it doesn't feel right for me, I'm not doing it. And I don't, it doesn't matter who you are. Friend, family, whoever. No is no. So I had to learn to say no. Because many times, you know, I would just go with the flow and say yes to any and everybody. So that was number one. Number two, my children are older now. Like I have a 22-year-old and a 16-year-old. And I just noticed things always revolved, you know, around them with sports and extracurricular and things like that. But I I can't take you somewhere if I'm not my best self, if I'm not together. And so I had to even say no to some things with them and take care of me. I started having spa days and self-care days, but more importantly, just wanting this alone time with myself. It's okay to be alone, to read, to take a solo trip, or just time to just reflect and pray and meditate. And so it just something just changed in me. And I was like, I'm, I need more from myself.

SPEAKER_00 7:49

Yeah, yeah. I will say that everything you hear about perimenopause, it is the negative. But what I, at least for myself, I think it also caused me to start reflecting and thinking about what is it that I want between perimenopause and all of the life transitions that happen at this age, it makes you sit still. It makes you be quiet. And it's hard for some people to do because they don't want to, they don't want to deal with the noise in their head. They don't want to deal with that heavy feeling. But there's so much that comes out of it once you do, you enjoy the alone times, you learn how to say no and set boundaries and put yourself first. And it's just it's something that does not come naturally for us because we are the ones that take care of everyone. So when you started saying no, was there guilt that came with that?

SPEAKER_01 8:45

At first, it was. And then the other women in my life, like my mother, would say, This is what's expected. And I was like, no, it's not. I don't want to be every woman. Right. That's not a great case. It's overrated. Right. It really is. I don't want to be every woman. And I don't have to be. And so that's why I was fine with it. I was like, I I don't have to be. I'm not going to be. I'm going to take time out. I'm going to have time to myself. Even Jesus went along and prayed. Amen. Yeah. And needed an alone time. And if Jesus needed it and he could do it, I can do it too.

SPEAKER_00 10:25

Right. Do you think it's a generation thing? Because I feel like the generation before us, they took on, wait, wait, the black women that our grandmothers, mothers, aunts, they took on everything, no matter how tired they were. You saw them doing it nonstop, sometimes complaining about it, but they're going to get it done. And I feel like our generation is more empowered to say no, to speak our truths, because we're not trying to hide the fact that we are tired. Being burned out is a real thing, and we don't want to be burned out.

SPEAKER_01 10:59

Right. I agree. It's definitely a generational thing. Uh they definitely did it. I seen my mother just do, do, and do, no matter what. And she always made it worse. And I get it, like she had to. You know, she was a single mother, and she was great. And I've always looked up to her. But I'm not a single mother, right? So those dynamics are different. I do have a husband that would share that responsibility. But at the end of the day, even sometimes, like, I will tell him, we we would come home and be like, what percentage are you? Because no one is 100%, right?

SPEAKER_00 11:42

Right.

SPEAKER_01 11:43

And I'm like, listen, I'm not even 50 today. Like, I need you to take the rings. I'm not even 50%. And I just need my time. And he was like, okay.

SPEAKER_00 11:55

And the awareness for you to know that, to be able to speak it and not carry the guilt of or the shame of, I can't show up and be 100% today. A lot of women need to learn. That's grace. You're giving yourself grace and something that is difficult for us to do.

SPEAKER_01 12:15

Yes, absolutely. Because I think we always are told, or it's just a standard that we're supposed to do it no matter what. No matter how you feel, what you're going through. And I I refuse to do it because stress will kill you. Definitely. Life will go on when you're gone. And life will go on. And I learned that early on, even in the healthcare field, I had to learn that. Right? I gave these people years of my life. I love what I did. But I was just an employee, like anyone else. And if something happened to me, they would keep on moving. They would go on like anything else. And that was when I realized it was time for me to leave. Right. I had been on call. I think I had worked like 12 hours that day. And I was on call. And I don't remember how I got home. I remember getting off at like 5 in the morning. I got on 85. I don't remember getting home. I don't remember the drive. I could have been on autopilot. I could have been asleep. It was by the grace of God that I got home. And I didn't come to it until I was about to turn in my neighborhood. And I was like, oh no, I cannot. I will not live like this. So I think maybe a week later I was on call again. And they were like, oh, you're gonna have to work all night. And I said, absolutely not. I will come for a case, but you're gonna have to call the next call person. Because if something happens to me, you all may sign a card and send my family a flower. My husband is without his wife. My kids are without their mother, and not today. I choose me. And I said, I'm not doing it. And I truly had to get on my knees and pray because I was no longer being fulfilled. And people thought that was the craziest thing. Like you are helping people. You do surgery, like you're in surgery. How are you not being fulfilled? But I wasn't. I felt like something was truly missing. And I stepped out on faith. I prayed and I said, Lord, if you help me get out of the boat, because I kept coming to the verse where Peter sees Jesus and he asks him, Lord, is it you? If it's you, let me come to you. But as minute he gets out and he sees the wind and the waves, he starts doubting and he sinks. And I said, Lord, I'm scared to even get out of the boat. But if you help me get out the boat, I'll never take my eyes off of you. And I left my job in April of 22. Opened Horton Cellars officially, October of 22. And we're still going strong. I like that. Am I making the amount of money I would love to make? No. Not yet. Right, not yet. But the money will come, but the freedom is there. The passion is there. The creativity is there. I have the schedule to travel if I want to. Working for someone else, especially the hospital, when I had to fill out a six to eight week schedule, I could have never taken this trip to Naples that I just took. And so I'm grateful that I listened and I stepped out on faith.

SPEAKER_00 15:51

That is important because I feel like we get to a point where we're no longer fulfilling what we're doing. And the amount of faith that it takes to go from that every other week, every week check to stepping out on your own. I feel like the fear of it is what stops many people. If you had to give advice to someone who is thinking about it, wanting it, they have a dream, they have a vision, they're just scared, what is it you would tell them?

SPEAKER_01 16:20

I would tell them to do it. Do it scared. You're not gonna have all the answers. They will come. But if you pray, the answers will come. Was I scared? Absolutely. Did I do it? Yes. Did I second guess? Yes. And I don't think Hill and I ever told you this, but you helped me at a critical time. When you had your wine festival, I was like functioning depression at that time. Just going through the motions, really second guessing myself, not thinking if I wanted to do this anymore, was it worth it? Right? And I did not want to be around people, and you kept inviting me. And I was like, I'm not going. This is not what I want. I don't even know if I'm continuing to do this. I think I'm gonna go back to the hospital. But I went and it was amazing, and I met all these other amazing people, and I was like, I was meant to be here. You were what I needed, and you just restored that confidence in me that I could do this. I'm going to do this, and I'm gonna be just fine.

SPEAKER_00 17:34

And you are gonna be just fine, and I think that shows the importance of community because it wasn't just me, it was everyone that showed up, everyone that came out, everyone that shared this story, because you are in a very, very difficult industry, which is why we highlight black-owned wine brands. Just the experience I had in the industry, the stories that I can share. I know the struggles of it, which is why it's important as a podcast that targets black women over 40. We're wine consumers, and when we are consuming the product, we need to look around and see are we represented in this industry? And if not, why? If not, how can we support? So for you in this season, I know it has to be a struggle with the industry you're in. One, tell us how do you keep your intentional, purposeful living and apply it to business and the challenges that are there.

SPEAKER_01 18:36

There are definitely challenges there, and so I take my same thing with being intentional, and if it doesn't feel right, it's not for me, into business. When I first got into the wine business, like trying to find a distributor and those type things, and so I heavily relied on, I will say, my sales real. If they said this is what you should buy, this is this, this is that, I would do it. And I found myself with product that I really didn't like or didn't represent me or my consumers, right? And it was really hard to sell, and so then I had to be more intentional with relying on me and my voice. I was like, I I know what I like, I know what my people like, and so just showing up as a black woman, because it's not a lot of us, right? When I go to these wine tastings and these trade shows, I'm usually the only black woman, which is so sad. Sometimes the only woman, but definitely the only black woman. And I when I see someone else of color, I always speak because hey, it's not a lot of us, and like you said, community is a strong thing. Some of them are like very cold and don't speak back or act like I'm not even there, and I'm like, oh okay, that's fine. But at the end of the day, I continue on because sometimes they're just there as buyers, but I'm there as an owner. And not to say that I'm better than anyone, but at the end of the day, you're not gonna damn my light, right? Right? I deserve to be in this place, in this space, just like you or anyone else. And so I roll with that confidence. When I walk into there, I am very confident in who I am. When people say, who do you work for? I am the owner of Horton Cellars. And if I am filling the atmosphere, the winemaker is usually there. And if they're very knowledgeable, professional, they're interactive, and I love the wine, I'm gonna buy it. But recently I went to one where this French winemaker came and he was so interactive with everyone but me. And I was like, okay. And so there was one particular wine that was amazing that I loved, and I knew my wine club people would love it. And I was like, absolutely not. Why would I give him my money? So therefore, I walked out and I was like, no, not today. I will not spend my money on him. But that's just what you have to do in these spaces. You deserve to be there. It's your money. And if you're feeling it, you're feeling it if you're not, and that's what I take in there. If I feel like it's not for me, if I'm not feeling the vibe of the atmosphere, then I will not spend my money.

SPEAKER_00 21:51

And that's you being intentional on who you support. Yes. That that is, yeah. So I think that is black people collectively, we do amazing things. Amazing things. We break down barriers, we show up in spaces where no one looks like us. We are the most educated. We are, because we have to be, we are the most polished when we're in those settings. The power we would have if we could just come together. For as many struggles as I saw in the wine industry, I met some amazing people, but to everyone's doing their thing, but to come together collectively, I think that's where we struggle with. And building community, that's where I think no matter what space we're in, reach out and talk to someone if they look like you and you're in a role. What is that going to take away from you? Do you think that's gonna devalue you? Like, why is it so hard for us to smile at the sister walking next to us or coming towards us? I don't see why it's such a struggle, but it is in so many spaces.

SPEAKER_01 23:02

It definitely is, and I guess that's what I had to learn because coming into the wine industry, I assume that all of us that look alike would build a community, right? I was new coming in. You're an established business, so why do you look at me now as your competition? I'm just trying to learn, and honestly, it's enough room for all of us to be in this space. And I think that's what sometimes we don't realize, right? If like you said, if we came together, how powerful we would be.

unknown 23:38

Right.

SPEAKER_00 23:39

But It's that crab in a barrel mentality. It really is. They're giving us this little point one percent of the industry. So I can't share my piece with you, but if we come together, maybe we can get to a whole percent. Maybe we can get to 5%. So instead of just holding on to that little piece that we're given, how about we come together and break some ceilings, break some walls, and really do what we need to do as a community so that we can truly grow in whatever industry it is. Because it's not just the wine industry. That's one of the ones where I think it's intentional for us not to be successful, but there are other industries that's like that. Very profitable industry where money is flowing, but there's very few people that look like us. Right.

SPEAKER_01 24:24

You're definitely right. And I think even in those spaces too, coming together, forming community is what we need. And every now and then I will get a business to reach out, like, hey, we would love to have you. Let's do a collaboration. And I love that. And it's not just wine businesses, like I'm doing an event next Wednesday with Wave Kings, it's a bowling company on Lake Wiley. They do window Wednesdays. And they saw me on an Instagram thread and reached out to me. And I was like, this is great. I would love to, right? Um, but it's just like you said, community. And even when I find businesses, I try to have them come in. Like at Horton Cellars, we have done a chiccuterie in wine. We do several floor arrangement classes with the book in Vine. She comes in and helps us to build these beautiful bouquets. We've done a make your own perfume. And so that's the thing, just like partnering with someone. If I have a space, if I'm having something, let's come together, right? Because I feel like wine goes with everything. Wine is a conversation starter, it brings people together. I will have people come in who will not know each other and will walk out laughing and talking to each other, just from building a relationship over the event, the experience, the wine. And that's what I love about it. And that's why I feel fulfilled in this portion of my life with what I'm doing.

SPEAKER_00 26:13

Okay, we talked around it, but we didn't give specifics. So, for those who don't know, tell us exactly what Horton Cellars is and who do you serve? Okay.

SPEAKER_01 26:25

So Horton Cellars is a wine boutique. We focus on small batch wines from family-owned vineyards all around the world. We do wine tastings and wine education classes because I just love wine. And so I love spreading my knowledge and just helping someone pick something new. I'll always get someone who only drinks Moscato, right? And that is my joy. If I can point you in the direction to something new and open your eyes to another varietal or another region, then I've done my job and I love that. So that's what we do. We are in Cornelius, but we service the Charlotte and surrounding area. We even do some in-home tastings because we have people that will have larger parties and things like that. And so yeah, we work with them and we'll come up with a region or certain wands. Some people like to do blind tastings. We just did one with who made it best, reasons around the world, and just have people vote on we'll taste each reason, we'll pair it with things, and they'll vote on which reason like which reason they thought was made the best. I think we did two Germanies, one from Austria and one from Alsace. And I just love coming up with different type events for people to attend because it's more than just a wine tasting, it's a full experience.

SPEAKER_00 28:04

Yes. Wine is one of those things I feel people feel shamed about or like to shame about. I've always said drink your wine the way you drink it. Drink the wine that you like. But I will say, the more you drink it, the more you try things, Moscato is that easy to get into wine. Comfort is sweet. It's an easy tasting wine. But the more you drink wine, the more you try other varietals from different regions, the more you grow in your wine palette. And then you'll want something different. So you'll instead of coming into wine with a closed mind saying, I only want sweet, I don't want anything dry. Be willing to do the wine tasting. Drink what you like, but be willing to do the wine tasting because then you'll realize that your wine palette is growing. Because I know I started out sweet. I right now cannot say, don't I'm offended if you offer me, Mescato, but that's just my palette. That's just my palette. I don't like the extra sweet wine. I don't like anything extra sweet. I don't sweet. I don't drink sweet alcohol. I don't want sweet wine. But I had to grow into that. So a lot of people like, oh Mescato, you're a newbie or you don't know. That's not wine. Don't be shamed by it. Just continue to grow in it.

SPEAKER_01 29:20

Oh, absolutely. I totally agree. So I have people who love Moscato. Moscato is one of our best sellers to this day. Okay, we usually sell out of Moscato every week. And I am not going to shame it. I personally don't drink Moscato. Like you said, I did come into the wine with sweet wines like Moscato's and moved up to Riesling's. And back then you could not get me to drink Chardonnay. I was like, absolutely not. I can't stand Chardonnay. But what I have learned is I don't drink California Chardonnays. And I always tell people that, like, when you say you don't like something, maybe let's try it from a different region, right? Exactly. One of my VIP customers, I love her to death, she came in and was like, I don't do dry wines. And I was like, okay. But we learned she didn't do sweet wines either. So I was like, so maybe you're an off-dry drinker, right? But we found out she just likes Italian wines. Like, that is her region. She loves a Monte Picciano. She loves a pecorino. And I was like, okay. So it wasn't that you don't like dry wines. We just had to find a region for you, right? So that, and like you said, just be open to tasting things. I did a wine tasting not too long ago, and I had this new wine that I wanted everyone to try, and I did not tell them what it was at all. And so I just poured everyone a little bit. They loved it. Everybody was like, oh, this is amazing. And I was like, Would you believe this is Chardonnay grapes? And they were like, absolutely not. And I was like, it is. But it's from France. And they were like, there's no way. And I was like, it is. This is from France. This is a white burgundy. And they were like, absolutely not. And I was like, yes. And so now you can't say you don't drink Chardonnay or you don't like Chardonnay because you do. You just found a Chardonnay that you like from a different region. Right. Right. Right.

SPEAKER_00 31:33

So if someone does not live in the area and they want to support for sellers or they want a wine education class, do you offer anything for others that's not in the area?

SPEAKER_01 31:46

I do. So actually, like even if people want to shop on our website, we do ship all over North Carolina and certain other states. But if you're not in Cornelius and you still want a wine education class, we would absolutely do that. We've done online ones for people. And like I said, we've come in and do in-home ones, in office ones. I've done a family reunion. So yeah, we can definitely plan something. And I always tell people any budget, right? Don't feel like you have to have this huge budget and we can work around any budget. We have wines from different price ranges. And so if you want to support or you want a wine education class, we can definitely do that. Okay, how do they reach you? You can reach us. Our website is hortonsellers.com. There is a form that you can fill out there. You can send us an email at info at hortonsellers.com. We are on social media, Facebook and Instagram as HortonSellens. And they could call us. And I probably should always know my business number by heart. But I don't I don't know why. I don't know it by heart. But you can always give us a call at 704-978-7443. Got it.

SPEAKER_00 33:20

And I will make sure to put it in the description of the podcast as well. And I can talk about wine all day long, but I want to jump back and ask one thing I'm noticing, just listening. I know your word is intentional, but one thing that pops in my mind from this conversation is resiliency. You're very resilient from taking the leap of faith, starting your own business, the industry that you're in, and establishing boundaries, like it all leads back to resilience. If you had to say something to your younger self to prepare her for today, what is it you would say to her?

SPEAKER_01 33:59

Oh, I would definitely say trust yourself, right? I think growing up, I always second guess myself. Sometimes never believe that it was enough of what I was doing. But trust yourself. You are enough. You are going to be fine, you're gonna make it. Yes, mistakes are gonna come, but you learn from them, right? No one's perfect. And in order to grow, you have to lose some of yourself, and that's fine. And if you don't lose people, friends, feel like you're alone at times, then you're not growing. So you just have to trust yourself and continue to grow and always believe in yourself.

SPEAKER_00 34:48

I think the younger of you would be very proud of the woman you are today. Personally knowing you, I know you're amazing. I know your business is going to far exceed your own expectations. Just you're being noticed, and it is going to take you to where you are in Italy a couple of times a year, vacationing because the business is doing so well. Well, thank you.

SPEAKER_01 35:13

I received that because I truly loved Italy. It was hot, but it was just the perfect place in time, and I had the best time.

SPEAKER_00 35:26

Dennis, it's on my bucket list. I plan on going within the next two to three years. As I told you, I'll be reaching back out for a tour guide because that is definitely a wine tour in Italy. It's on the bucket list.

SPEAKER_01 35:39

It definitely is. Just the wine was great, the food was great, and you walk so much. I guess you don't feel guilty of all the pasta and things like that you eat.

SPEAKER_00 35:53

Okay. I was okay with coming back 10 to 15 pounds every year, but it's great if it doesn't stick and you walk it off.

SPEAKER_01 36:00

I feel like it didn't stick. I feel like I might have came back a little bit lighter from all the walking. I'm okay. That's a plus. Okay. But yes, it's a great time, a beautiful place, and I highly recommend that you go.

SPEAKER_00 36:19

Thank you. Thank you. And this season we're all looking to travel places, so that one is definitely on the list. I knew this would be a great conversation. I thank you for joining me. I appreciate you pouring into sharing, being very transparent, your lived experiences, whether it was stepping out on faith, just sharing your knowledge about wine, being in the wine industry, your challenges in the wine industry. It is something that a lot of people don't hear are not aware of. We buy the wine, but we don't really know the background of what's happening in the industry. So it's important that when we do have an audience that we're able to share it with them so that they know that this is an industry we need to be intentional about supporting black own brands. Black owned, whether it's a wine brand, whether it is a retailer such as yourself, be intentional about driving a couple of steps past Total Wine or a couple of miles past Total Wine, supporting your local black oil retailer because we're needed. We're the ones that support black-owned wine. So if you really want to support the industry and see us grow, it's full circle. You got to support the retailers just as much as you support the wine brands.

SPEAKER_01 37:33

Right.

SPEAKER_00 37:34

I thank everyone for coming to join us, for listening. I hope that this has fed your soul. If you have any questions, you are free to email me at questions at winewisdomwhatnow.com. I look forward to your emails. I appreciate your emails. If you have anything that you want a licensed professional to respond to when it comes to wellness, perimenopause, your menopause journey, finances, retirement planning. We do have partners that we work with that will answer your question here live on the podcast. Email inher season at winewisdomwhatnow.com. I ask that you like, share, comment, keep the engagement going for the podcast so that we continue to grow. I ask that you be open when you see another black woman walking towards you, smile and say hello. You never know what she is going through. You may be the first person of the day who has actually spoken to her. Maybe she lives alone, she works in an office by herself, and now she sees a smiling face speaking to her. You never know what that does to someone. If no one has told you, you are amazing, and I wish you the best week ever. We're here every Tuesday at 6 a.m. A new episode drops. Thank you for joining.